Where Would You Be, If You Were a Hammer?

‘Where Would You Be, If You Were a Hammer?”,

Father said.  “I need help, kids — don’t scream, and don’t stammer …

Turn off the t.v., and cut down the clamor …

And think — Where would YOU be, if YOU were a hammer?

 

“Where would I be?  I’d be in the tool box!”,

Tim jumped up first, stumbling over some blocks,

And falling on Mom, half asleep in the chair.

“Don’t bother,” said Father, “I checked.  It’s not there.”

 

“Where would I be?  I’d be under the couch!”,

Susie guessed.  Then Father reached down, and yelled, “Ouch!

“There’s tacks, and there’s crayons, and pennies, and toys,

But no hammer here — so keep on, girls and boys.”

 

“Where would I be?”, Anne said, “Under the desk!”

But the things that were there were extremely grotesque —

A comb, two toothbrushes, a stereo speaker …

Fifty-one cards, and my own missing sneaker.

 

“I know!”, Sarah said, “I’d be up on the shelf!

I think, Daddy, you put it up there yourself.”

But, no hammer — instead, there were feathers and mittens,

Coat hangers, scarves, and the two baby kittens.

 

“Keep searching!”, said Father, “We can’t give up yet.

I know we can find it!  I’ll offer a bet!

I’ll give a reward to which one of you scholars

Finds it first!”  And we all said, “We want two dollars!”

 

“All right, it’s agreed — now let’s keep looking, fast!

Then I modestly asked, “Where did you have it last?”

And Mother said, “Here it is, on the book case,

With your Do-It-Yourself book, right next to the vase!”

 

Then all we kids said in harmonious accord,

“Mother, oh, Mother!  Will you share the reward?”

And as we divided two dollars, five ways,

Father frowned, and said, “Oh, it’s been one of those days!”

 

“I need some more help, kids — this is the last straw …

Tell me, Where would YOU be, if YOU were a saw?”