“The Adventures of Tom Watson”

Lyrics for The Adventures of Tom Watson

Copyright 1981, 1983, 2001,2013 George Comeaux

 GUILTY/NOT GUILTY

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY, singing:
Restraint of trade!
Illegal business practices!
Undermining competition!
… Summons, Subpoena — GUILTY!

DEFENSE ATTORNEY, now in spotlight, singing:
NOT GUILTY!  NOT GUILTY!
Aggressive, accepted business practices!
… Denial, Denial — NOT GUILTY!

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY, AND THREE STAFF ASSISTANTS behind him, as spotlights rise on defendants:
Monopoly power!
Knockout machines!
Predatory pricing policies!
… Summons, subpoena — GUILTY!

(Spotlight on Patterson, Watson, and Range.  Patterson moves and sings…)

PATTERSON:
NOT GUILTY!
Denial, denial — NOT GUILTY!
And furthermore the plaintiff
Performed these same activities
While under my employ!
As did every other manufacturer!
NOT GUILTY!

WATSON AND RANGE, echoing:
NOT GUILTY!

(Spotlights now on judge and jury also.)

ALL ON STAGE:
SUMMONS — SUBPOENA –
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY:                    DEFENSE ATTORNEY, simultaneously:
GUILTY!                                                        NOT GUILTY!
ALL ON PROSECUTION:                          ALL ON DEFENSE, simultaneously:
GUILTY!                                                        NOT GUILTY!

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY, to judge and jury:
Restraint of trade!
Illegal business practices!
Undermining competition!
GUILTY!

(Simultaneously:)
DEFENSE ATTORNEY:                             PROSECUTING ATTORNEY:
NOT GUILTY!  NOT GUILTY!                  Monopoly power!
Aggressive, accepted business              Knockout machines!
practices!
Denial, denial —                                        Predatory pricing policies!

With PATTERSON, WATSON, and RANGE:
NOT GUILTY!                                                Summons, subpoena — GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                                                                          GUILTY!

JUDGE, singing:
Gentlemen of the jury, may we have your verdict please?

JURY FOREMAN, singing:
We find the defendants …

JURY, singing:
John Henry Patterson   (spotlight on Patterson)
Thomas J. Watson          (spotlight on Watson)
John J. Range                  (spotlight on Range)

DEFENSE ATTORNEY:                             PROSECUTING ATTORNEY:
NOT GUILTY!                                             GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                             GUILTY!
Denial, denial                                            Summons, subpoena

With PATTERSON, WATSON, and RANGE:
NOT GUILTY!                                                GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                                GUILTY!

JURY:
GUILTY!

(Lights out on main stage, and curtain closes.  Attorneys leave.  Patterson remains front stage right with Watson and Range.)

PATTERSON, WATSON, and RANGE:
NOT GUILTY!

JURY, from backstage:
GUILTY!

PATTERSON, singing:
We’ll appeal
To a higher court!
And furthermore the plaintiff
Performed these same activities
While under our employ —
As did every other manufacturer!
NOT GUILTY!

JURY, from backstage:
GUILTY!

BACK HOM E IN PAINTED POST

WATSON:
Jenny — if we don’t win the appeal — your family …

JEANETTE:
Where I stand, my family stands!  You underestimate me, Tom!  If I thought you were a criminal,
I would not have stayed with you through the trial!

WATSON:
Public disgrace!  I can’t stay in business — I’ll go back …

JEANETTE:
Go back?

WATSON:
Back home in Painted Post, peaceful and free …
Mountain top and valley dressed in bold greenery …
The river meandering to some distant sea …
Will you come back to Painted Post with me?

Where the sunset, piercing the mountain breeze …
Sends a million rays through a thousand trees …
As if to say, “You belong here, please”
… Jeanette, in the sunset, with me.

JEANETTE:

Right here in Dayton, friendly and warm …
A house in the city — a countryside farm …
A chance to go forward — no cause for alarm …
Let’s settle in Dayton — right here, arm in arm!

Where the sun ascending, on vast horizons,
Blesses the earth with the brilliance of gold …
As if to offer a new world to hold,
As our dreams, in the sunrise, unfold!

THIS IS NO JOB FOR ME

EFFIE, singing:
Tommy is a teacher!
Tommy is a teacher!

JENNIE:
He said you had to be a fool

EMMA:
To spend an extra day in school!

LOUELLA:
And now he waves a wooden rule!

GIRLS:
Tommy is a teacher!
Tommy is a teacher!

WATSON, singing:
This is no job for me!
Let me out — set me free!
This cannot be my destiny —
But what it is … I cannot see!

But this job is no job
For me!

PAINTED POST, NEW YORK, AMERICA

(Music begins; Mr. Watson sings …)
Open a new door
Search for love, not gold
Build yourself a dream that you can reach before you’re old
Study hard, and always try to do the best you can …
And sometimes think of Painted Post, and all your Watson clan.

Painted Post, New York, America —
As peaceful as any home can be …
When I wandered in search of a better life,
Painted Post welcomed me.

When my Father came from across the sea …
When we roamed the timberlands so eagerly …
When my fortune never came to be …
Painted Post welcomed me!

MR. WATSON and MRS. WATSON, singing:
When my father came from across the sea …
When we roamed the timberlands so eagerly …
When my fortune never came to be …
Painted Post welcomed me.

Painted Post, New York, America …
As peaceful as any home can be …
When I wandered in search of a better life,
Painted Post welcomed me …
Painted Post welcomed me.

SIX DOLLARS A WEEK!

GIRLS:
SIX dollars a week!
SIX dollars a week!
Tommy’s making six whole dollars
A week!
The guys will all be jealous, and the girls will laugh and shriek!
“SIX dollars a week!”

EFFIE:
Tommy went away to school
And learned to keep the books …

JENNIE:
Now he’ll have the wherewithal
To help improve his looks!

GIRLS:
SIX whole dollars a week!
SIX whole dollars a week!

EMMA:
Tommy’s sitting in a corner
Counting all the cash,
At Clarence Risley’s butcher shop

LOUELLA:
And taking out the trash!  (The girls giggle.)

GIRLS:
For SIX dollars …
SIX dollars …
SIX whole dollars …
SIX dollars a week!

THIS IS NO JOB FOR ME (2)

WATSON:
This is no job for me!
Let me out!  Set me free!
This can’t be my destiny …
If only I could see …
This is no job for me!

GIRLS:
He’ll take the clothes he used to wear,
And throw them in the creek!
SIX whole dollars a week!

EFFIE:
Here he comes –

JENNIE:
Home from work –

EFFIE and JENNIE:
Let our tycoon speak!

GIRLS:
SIX whole dollars …
SIX whole dollars …
SIX dollars a week!

GIRLS:
SIX dollars a week!
SIX dollars a week!
Mother’s gonna cry,
And Father’s gonna shriek!
“SIX dollars …
SIX dollars …
SIX dollars a week!”

TEN DOLLARS A WEEK!

GIRLS:
TEN dollars a week!
TEN dollars a week!
Here he comes!  Home from work!
Let the peddler speak!
TEN whole dollars …
TEN whole dollars …
TEN — whole — dollars …
A week!

LATCH ON TOMMY (1)

CORNWELL:
Hitch up the wagons, lad … LATCH ON!
Load up the pianos …  LATCH ON!

You’re going to learn a lesson …
You’re going to paint the town ..
.A peddler always stands up tall,
And never shows a frown!
LATCH ON!  LATCH ON!
Hitch up the horses!  Load up the wagons!  LATCH ON!

We’ll travel all the countryside,
And meet all kinds of folks!
We’ll liven up their days and nights,
And laugh at all their jokes!

We’ll bring them mirth and music,
They’ll bring us revenue!
We’ll sell our wares at county fairs,
And we won’t come home until we’re through!
LATCH ON, Tommy!  LATCH ON!

WATSON and CORNWELL:
We’re going to learn a lesson!
We’re going to paint the town!
A peddler always stands up tall
And never shows a frown!

CORNWELL:
LATCH ON, Tommy! — LATCH ON!

You’re going to learn a lesson!
You’re going to paint the town!

WATSON:
A peddler always stands up tall,
And never shows a frown!

CORNWELL:
LATCH ON, TOMMY!  LATCH ON!

TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS A WEEK!

GIRLS:
TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS!
TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?
TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?
TWENYY-FIVE DOLLARS A WEEK!

THIS IS NO DEAL FOR ME!

WATSON:
This is no deal for me!
Deal me out!  Set me free!
This cannot be my destiny …
But what it is … I cannot see …
This deal is no deal — for me!

PAINTED POST, NEW YORK, AMERICA reprise

WATSON, singing:
Open a new door
Search for love, not gold
Build yourself a dream that you can reach before you’re old …
Study hard, and always try to do the best you can …
And sometimes think of Painted Post, and all your Watson clan.

WATSON:
This is still home to me!
Always was — will always be!
But somewhere else — is destiny …
And I must search, ’til I can see …
But this home is still home — to me!

MR. and MRS. WATSON:
Painted Post, New York, America –
As peaceful as any home can be …
When I wandered in search of a better life,
Painted Post welcomed me!

MRS. WATSON:
When my father came from across the sea …

MR. WATSON:
When we roamed the timberlands so eagerly …
When my fortune never came to be …

MR.and MRS. WATSON:
Painted Post welcomed me!
Painted Post, New York, America … Welcomed me!

TOMMY’S IN THE CITY

GIRLS, singing:
Tommy’s in the city!
Tommy’s in the city!

He’s chasing jobs just like a hound!
He’s trying everything around!
At last here’s one he finally found!
It isn’t very pretty!
Tommy’s in the city!

LATCH ON, TOMMY (2)

 BARRON:
LATCH ON!, Watson – LATCH ON!

Freshen up your image!
Liven up your act!
You gotta dominate the scene to have a big impact!
Latch on, Watson — LATCH ON!

We’ll shine in every village!
We’ll show up with a flair!
We’ll dump the stock like lightin’!
Then get the hell right out of there!
LATCH ON, WATSON!
LATCH ON, WATSON!
LATCH ON, WATSON! – LATCH ON!

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A WEEK!

 GIRLS:
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS a week!
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS a week!

Tommy’s in the city!
Stop!  Go!  Shriek!
One … hundred … dollars … a week!
One hundred dollars …
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A WEEK!

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A WEEK! sequel

GIRLS, singing:
Tommy bought a butcher shop!
Just like the one at home!
But Buffalo is cold and wet!
He’s wondering why he had to roam!

LATCH ON, TOMMY! (3)

RANGE:
LATCH ON, TOMMY! – LATCH ON!

Load up this big machine!
Tommy, you can do it!
You can sell a hundred —
Really nothing to it!
LATCH ON, TOMMY! – LATCH ON, TOMMY!

You’ve got your private territory –
You can make it hum!
Show ’em who you really are,
Then watch those orders come!

You don’t just sell a register
To decorate a shelf —
It’s not enough, no, Tommy —
You gotta sell yourself!
LATCH ON, TOMMY!

Load up this big machine!
Tommy, you can do it!
You can sell a hundred —
Really nothing to it!
LATCH ON, TOMMY!
LATCH ON, TOMMY!
LATCH ON, TOMMY! —  LATCH ON!

DING! DING! DING!

RANGE:
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Listen to the Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
Isn’t it sweet as any bell?
Doesn’t it cast a magic spell?
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!

Listen to the Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
Doesn’t it bring music to your ear?
Gives you a brand new atmosphere!
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!

Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
They want to hear it Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
It’s gonna make you feel …
High and mighty and proud!
Bringing in such a crowd!

They want to hear the Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
And listen to it Ring!  Ring!  Ring!

BOURDEN:
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
I really like the Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
I can see I got their attention!

RANGE, singing:
And extra sales to mention!

RANGE and BOURDEN, singing:
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Ring!  Ring!  Ring!

BOURDEN:
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Can you hear the Ring!  Ring!  Ring!
Look at all the business it will bring!
Ding!  Ding!  Ding!
Ring!        …..  Ring!

WATSON, singing:
DING!  DING!  DING!
Hear the golden RING!  RING!  RING!
You deserve the best of everything!

DING!  DING!  DING!
Makes you want to SING!  SING!  SING!
Doesn’t it bring music to your ear?
Gives you a brand new atmosphere!

RING!  RING!  RING!
Isn’t it sweet as any bell?
Doesn’t it cast a magic spell?
DING!  DING!  DING!
Look at all the business it will bring!
DING!  DING!  DING!

ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS A WEEK!

GIRLS:
One hundred!
Two hundred!
Five hundred!
One thousand dollars — a week!

Tommy’s setting records!
Now he cannot stop!
He’s number one in Buffalo!
He’s heading for the top!
One THOUSAND dollars — a week!

GIRLS, singing:
Tommy’s gone to Rochester!
He’s taking it by storm!
He took me there to live with him!
(Slowly)  He’s gone a long way from the farm!

I RUN THE CASH!

PATTERSON:
I run THE CASH!                                                           Chalmers:  HE runs THE CASH!
It’s I who say …
It’s time to work!                                                            It’s time to work!
It’s time to play!                                                              It’s time to play!

Let’s get this straight!                                                   Let’s get this straight!
I run THE CASH!                                                              HE runs THE CASH!
Let’s get this straight!                                                   Let’s get this straight!
I’M NUMBER ONE!                                                          HE’S NUMBER ONE!
When I say WALK, you walk!                                        When he says walk, we walk!
When I say RUN, you run!                                              When he says run, we run!

Let’s get this straight!
I run THE CASH!
You’re here to sell!                                                            We’re here to sell!
I’m here to tell you how!                                                 He’s here to tell you how!

You’re here to sell!                                                            We’re here to sell!
COME HIGH WATER — OR HELL!                                  COME HIGH WATER — OR HELL!

Let’s get this straight!                                                  Let’s get this straight!
You’re here to sell!                                                         You’re here to sell!
I run THE CASH!                                                              HE runs THE CASH!
And you can have                                                              And we can have
Like me, success!                                                              Like you, success!
Just think it over …                                                          We’ll think it over …
And then say yes!                                                              And then say yes!

You ask me how,                                                               We ask me how,
And I confess …                                                                And you confess …
I RUN THE CASH!                                                              HE RUNS THE CASH!
Competitors you smash!                                                 Competitors you smash!

I RUN THE CASH!                CHALMERS and WATSON:  YOU run THE CASH!
You’re here to sell!                                                                   We’re here to sell!
COME HIGH WATER — OR HELL!

So just say yes!                                                                  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!
You’re here to sell!                                                           Sell!  Sell!  Sell!  Sell!
LET’S GET THIS STRAIGHT!                                          STRAIGHT!  STRAIGHT!  STRAIGHT!
I RUN THE CASH!                                                              YOU RUN THE CASH!

THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS A WEEK!

GIRLS:
One thousand dollars!
Two thousand dollars!
Three thousand dollars … A WEEK!

Tommy’s rising to the top!
And Chalmers just got canned!
He’s getting close to Patterson … (slows down …)
He’s second in command!

WOULD YOU SAY ‘YES’?

WATSON:
Time stopped moving …
My thoughts disappeared …
I felt strange vibrations
Whenever you neared …

I stood, like a dunce, in a questioning trance …
Would you say “Yes!”, if I asked you to dance?

JEANETTE:
The music was silenced …
The dancing was stilled …
But inside, my heart knew
It wasn’t fulfilled …

I trembled, evading your wandering glance …
How long would it be, ’til you asked me to dance?

WATSON and JEANETTE:
All visions and images
Vanished from view …
Just one light remained …
Shining on you!

WATSON:
Time stopped moving …
My thoughts disappeared …
I felt strange vibrations
Whenever you neared …

JEANETTE:
The music was silenced …
The dancing was stilled …
But inside, my heart knew
It wasn’t fulfilled …

WATSON:
I stood, like a dunce, in a questioning trance …

JEANETTE:
I trembled, evading your wandering glance …

WATSON:
Would you say “Yes!”, if I asked you to dance?

JEANETTE, simultaneously:
How long would it be, ’til you asked me to dance?

WATSON and JEANETTE:
All visions and images
Vanished from view …
Just one light remained …
Shining on you!

WATSON:
I stood, like a dunce, in a questioning trance …

JEANETTE, simultaneously:
I trembled, evading your wandering glance …

WATSON:                                                         JEANETTE, simultaneously:
Would you say “Yes!” …                                How long would it be …
If I asked you to dance?                                ‘Til you asked me to dance?

GUILTY/NOT GUILTY reprise

DEFENSE ATTORNEY and DEFENDANTS:      PROSECUTING ATTORNEY and CHALMERS:
NOT GUILTY!  NOT GUILTY!                              Monopoly power!
Aggressive, accepted                                           Knockout machines!
business practices!

Denial, Denial …                                                    Predatory pricing policies!
NOT GUILTY!                                                          GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                                          GUILTY!

JUDGE, singing:
Gentlemen of the jury, may we have your verdict, please?

FOREMAN, singing:
We find the defendants …

JURY, singing:
John Henry Patterson!
Thomas J. Watson!
John J. Range! …

DEFENSE ATTORNEY and DEFENDANTS:  PROSECUTING ATTORNEY and CHALMERS:
NOT GUILTY!                                                               GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                                               GUILTY!
Denial, denial …                                                          Summons … subpoena …
NOT GUILTY!                                                               GUILTY!
NOT GUILTY!                                                               GUILTY!

JURY:
GUILTY!

PATTERSON, singing:
We’ll appeal
To a higher court!
NOT GUILTY!

JURY, from dark:
GUILTY!

SUNRISE

WATSON and JEANETTE, singing:
Where the sun, ascending on vast horizons …
Blesses the earth with the brilliance of gold …
As if to offer a new world to hold …
And our dreams, in the sunrise, unfold!

RUMORS, WHISPERS, GOSSIP AND SPECULATION (1)

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
Did you hear?

GOSSIP:
Did you hear? …

SPECULATION:
What did you hear?

RUMORS:
Watson was thrown …

WHISPERS:
Out on his ear!

GOSSIP:
Did you hear?

SPECULATION:
Did you hear?

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
Did you hear?

GOSSIP:
He’s packing his bags …

SPECULATION:
He’s closing up shop …

RUMORS:
No one can get …

WHISPERS:
That close to the top!

GOSSIP:
Did you hear?

SPECULATION:
Did you hear?

RUMORS:
Rumors!

WHISPERS:
Whispers!

GOSSIP:
Gossip!

SPECULATION:
And SPEC-u-la-tion!

RUMORS:
What else is there to do?

WHISPERS:
We’ve gone as far as we can go …

GOSSIP:
We’re not in control …

SPECULATION:
But still we’d like to know …

RUMORS:
The whys and the wherefores …

WHISPERS:
How things come to be …

GOSSIP:
And all of the details …

SPECULATION:
Of things we can’t see!

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
Did you hear?

GOSSIP:
He’s out on his ear!

SPECULATION:
He’s out on his ear!

RUMORS:
Rumors!

WHISPERS:
Whispers!

GOSSIP:
Gossip!

SPECULATION:
And SPEC-u-la-tion!

TOMMY!

Watson:
Tommy, Tommy …
Come share my world with me
Tommy, Tommy …

Smile, and I see in the bright eyes I’m holding
A vision of hope, and a new world unfolding …

Tommy, Tommy …
Come share my world with me
Tommy, Tommy …

We can’t see the future,
We don’t know tomorrow …
But all we can ask is
The courage to borrow …
And Tommy, Tommy …

We’ll turn every storm to a bright new rainbow …
We’ll learn the secrets … only the angels know!

Tommy, Tommy …
Smile, and I see in the bright eyes I’m holding
A vision of hope, and a new world unfolding …

Tommy, Tommy …
Come share my world with me
Tommy!

RUMORS, WHISPERS, GOSSIP AND SPECULATION (2)

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
Did you hear?

GOSSIP:
Did you hear?

SPECULATION:
What did you hear?

RUMORS:
Watch out for this guy!

WHISPERS:
What’s his name?

GOSSIP:
Watson!

SPECULATION
:I heard …

RUMORS:
I hear he’s a tiger!

WHISPERS:|
He’ll shake everything up!

GOSSIP:
Some heads will be rolling …

SPECULATION:
Not mine!

RUMORS:
What does he know about

WHISPERS:
Clocks and meat slicers?

GOSSIP:
He’s under indictment!

SPECULATION:
He’ll never last!

RUMORS:
Rumors!

WHISPERS:
Whispers!

GOSSIP:
Gossip!

SPECULATION:
And SPEC-u-la-tion!

DON’T HOLLER AT HOLLERITH!

HOLLERITH:
Holler if you will!  Holler if you must!
Holler when you’re leaving and EXCUSE MY DUST!
Holler if you think it   makes you big and tall!
Holler if you want to hear me say:     THAT’S ALL!

Holler, and you’ll regret it!
Holler – I’ll just say forget it!
Holler at Jones, or King, or Smith, but
DON’T HOLLER AT HOLLERITH!

Holler in the morning, holler all night long!
Holler if it makes you feel    powerful and strong!
Holler like a hurricane, churning up the sea!
But don’t holler – don’t holler – DON’T HOLLER AT ME!

Holler like a storm that     frightens everyone!
But if you holler one more time, this conversation’s done!
Holler all you want!  Holler all you can!
But if you holler one more time, get yourself another plan!

Holler at Jones, or King, or Smith, but
DON’T HOLLER AT HOLLERITH!
Holler at Jones, or King, or Smith, but
DON’T HOLLER AT HOLLERITH!

JANIE! HELEN! ARTHUR!

WATSON:
Janie, Janie,
I’ll build a world for you
Janie, Janie …

Starlight will fall on you,
Princes will call on you …
I’ll see that it all comes true!

Janie, Janie, (he begins to dance with her)
A princess with beauty that’s lasting forever,
A princess who’s smiling, and dainty, and clever …

(Helen squirms out of Jeanette’s arms and comes to cut in.)
Helen, Helen,
I’ll build a world for you
Helen, Helen …

Starlight will fall on you,
Princes will call on you …
I’ll see that it all comes true!

WATSON and JEANETTE:
Arthur, Arthur,
Come share my world with me
Arthur, Arthur …

Smile, and I see in the bright eyes I’m holding,
A vision of hope, and a new world unfolding …

WATSON:
Arthur, Arthur,
Come share my world with me,
Tommy, Janie …

We can’t see the future,
We don’t know tomorrow,
But all we can ask is
The courage to borrow …

WATSON and JEANETTE:

And Helen, Arthur,
We’ll turn every storm to a bright new rainbow …
We’ll learn the secrets … only the angels know!

Tommy,
Janie,
Helen,
Arthur!

THE IN-TER-NA-TIO-NAL BUS-I-NESS MA-CHINES COMPANY!

SALESMAN #1:
We’re in the

SALESMAN #2:
In-ter-na-tion-al

SALESMAN #3:
Bus-i-ness

SALESMAN #4:
Ma-chines

SALESMAN #1, in deep voice:
Company!

ALL:
The In-ter-na-tion-al Bus-i-ness Ma-chines
Company!

SALESMAN #1:
We’re in the
Cool and rational
International

ALL:
Bus-i-ness Ma-chines

SALESMAN #1, in deep voice:
Company!

SALESMAN #2:
We’re the best of the best!

SALESMAN #3:
We’re the suit and the vest!

SALESMAN #4:
We’re the mountain’s highest crest!
Who are we?
We’re the …

ALL, looking it up in flyers:
Inter-national
Cool and rational
International
Business Machines
Company!

SALESMAN #1:
Other cards have aces, and kings, and queens …

SALESMAN #2:
Ours have “International …
Business Machines”!

SALESMAN #3:
We’re the top of the heap!

SALESMAN #4:
We’re a dash and a leap!
We’re machines that never sleep!

ALL, whispering:
International
Cool and rational
International Business Machines …
Company!

SALESMAN #1:
We’re collars too stiff!

SALESMAN #2:
And shirts blazing white!

SALESMAN #3:
And we’re never loose!

SALESMAN #4:
And we’re never tight!

SALESMAN #2:
You can drink what you like
In your bars and canteens …

SALESMAN #3, exaggerating:
But I want PUNCH!
I’m from

ALL:
In-ter-na-tion-al
Bus-i-ness Machines!

SALESMAN #4:
We’re the pick of the crop!

SALESMAN #3:
We’re the light at the top!

SALESMAN #2:
We’re machines that never stop!

SALESMAN #3:
We’re blue, blue, blue …
Sincere in all we do!
‘Cause everything we do …
Is just for you!

ALL:
We’re International Business Machines!

Other cards have aces, and kings, and queens …
Ours have “International …
Business Machines”!

ALL:

International …
Cool and Rational …
International Business Machines …
Company!

RUMORS, WHISPERS, GOSSIP AND SPECULATION (3)

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
I heard …

GOSSIP:
What did you hear?

SPECULATION:
Did you hear?

RUMORS:
We’re setting new records!

WHISPERS:
The guy is a genius!

GOSSIP:
I knew he’d be brilliant!

SPECULATION:
I saw it all coming!

RUMORS:
I’d walk through a wall for him!

WHISPERS:
He knows my name!

GOSSIP:
He cares about everyone!

SPECULATION:
He knows my name!

RUMORS:
RUMORS!

WHISPERS:
WHISPERS!

GOSSIP:
GOSSIP!

SPECULATION:
AND SPEC-U-LA-TION!

KEEP ‘EM IN MOTION

WORKERS:
Keep ’em in Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
Keep the line Rolling!  Rolling!  Rolling!
Some day soon we’ll all be strolling
Up and down Fifth Avenue!

Keep ’em in Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
Keep the line Moving!  Moving!  Moving!
And before you know, we’re proving
We’ll have record revenue!

WORKER #1:

Hey, it’s not so bad …
At least we’ve got something to do!

Keep the line Rolling!  Rolling!  Rolling!
Keep ’em in Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
Rub on the grease!  Pour on the lotion!

WORKER #2:
Mix up a tonic, and a magic potion!

WORKER #3:
Fill up the warehouse!  Fill up the ocean!

ALL:
Motion!  Motion! …
Motion!  Motion! …

Keep ’em in Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
All these machines will bring us through —

If we stay in Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
Keep the line Rolling!  Rolling!  Rolling!
When it’s over, we’re controlling
All the business for Big Blue!

Hey, it’s not so bad …
At least we’ve got something to do!

Even if desperation’s lurking
‘Round every corner, every day —
Thank God, at least we’re working,
And, as long as we can, we’ll stay!

Keep the line Moving!  Moving!  Moving!
Keep the line Rolling!  Rolling!  Rolling!
Keep ’em in Motion! …

Rub on the grease!  Pour on the lotion! …
Mix up a tonic, and a magic potion! …
Fill up the warehouse!  Fill up the ocean! …
Keep ’em in Motion!
Keep ’em in Motion!
Motion!  Motion!  Motion!
All day long, and all year through!

There’s a fortune ’round the corner!
Yes, it’s just around the corner!
There’s a fortune for every motion that we do!
Motion!  Motion!  Motion!  Motion!  All year through!

FORTUNE SMILED ON ME

Something was missing from my life …
Everyone else could see …
You came along, and
Fortune smiled on me!

You brought new spirit to my life …
Sharing my destiny …
You gave me strength, and
Fortune smiled on me!

Life was tranquil before you came …
Every evening was just the same …
My soul was burning, but quenched with flame …
Waiting to hear your name.

You brought new life into my life …
Starting our family …
You brought me love, and
Fortune smiled on me!

You brought me love, and …
Fortune smiled on me!

A SOLDIER’S PRAYER

Marine:
Every saint in heaven
Intercede for me.
Lead me on, and keep me strong,
And spare my family.

Midshipman:
Every angel high above,
Help me serve with pride,
And the one who guides me,
Be ever at my side.

WAC:
And may the fortunes that await,
Each enemy and friend,
Make hallow all our sacrifice,
That misery will end,

Tommy:
With peace and harmony restored,
For all good men to share…
And Silent Nights! And Holy Nights!
In answer to our prayer…

Servicemen and Woman:
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.

TAP YOUR FEET AND DO-SI-DO

Farmer:
We pray every night, we’ll get enough rain
To fill up the corn cribs, and harvest the grain
As we gather the cattle, and tend to the sheep
So all city slickers can comfortably sleep

And tend to their duties in factories and stores
And in the armed forces, protecting our shores
But come Saturday when the chores are all done
Cover a hot dish, and ROLL OUT THE FUN

Soooooooo…
Tap your feet and do-si-do (echoed by the dancers)
And ask your gal to the rodeo! (echo by the men)
Tap your feet and do-si-do (echo)
And drag your beau to the rodeo! (echo by the women)

Sheep in the meadow, cows in the corn
We get up every morn
While you city slickers snore
We’re already out the door

Haystack, barnyard, chicken feed
Plow the ground and plant the seed
Garden greens, and reds, and yellows
Make for hearty, happy fellows

Hurricane, and flood, and drought
Knock us down, but never out
We get up, and smile, and say
Hey!  It’s just another day

Pretty little maidens, all in a row
Want to go to the rodeo
Swing your partner, to and fro
All the way to the rodeo

Handsome gents, we all know
Want to take us to the rodeo
Swing your partner, to and fro
All the way to the rodeo

Grab your partner, tap your feet
Tell your neighbor, “Ain’t she sweet?” (Men echo)
Grab your partner, tap your feet
Tell your neighbor, “Ain’t he sweet?” (Women echo)

Swing your partner, then say MOO
If they can do it, so can you

Swing your partner, click your heels
See how great this rhythm feels
Swing your partner, click your heels
See how great this rhythm feels

Swing your partner, do-si-do
Let’s go lookin’ for Cotton-Eyed-Joe
Swing your partner, do-si-do
Let’s go lookin’ for Cotton-Eyed-Joe

Farm land, ranch land, cottonfields
We produce what nature yields
Feed the masses, watch them grow
Towns and cities, do-si-do!

RUMORS, WHISPERS, GOSSIP AND SPECULATION (4)

RUMORS:
Did you hear?

WHISPERS:
I heard …

GOSSIP:
What did you hear?

SPECULATION:
Did you hear?

RUMORS:
He’s losing control …

WHISPERS:
His son wants the job! …

GOSSIP:
He’s shouting at everyone …

SPECULATION:
He’s one of a kind!

RUMORS:
He made me prosperous!

WHISPERS:
He’s getting old!

GOSSIP:
He’s out of the mainstream!

SPECULATION:
He’s one of a kind!

RUMORS:
RUMORS!

WHISPERS:
WHISPERS!

GOSSIP:
GOSSIP!

SPECULATION:
And SPEC-U-LA-TION!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY’RE SAYING ABOUT YOU?

Watson:
Do you know what they’re saying about you?
Do you know what their questions imply?
They know I’d be helpless without you,
And they know the reason why …

They say you’re the power behind the throne!
They say I could never have made it alone!
They say you’re a part of each thing I do …
And, love, what they say … is true!

JEANETTE:
Do you know what they’re whispering about you?
Do you now what their rumors reply?
They say there’s never a reason to doubt you,
And they know the reason why …

They say you’re a fire to hot to come near!
They say you’re a father with a comforting ear!
They say you can turn stormy skies to blue …
And, love, what they say … is true!

WATSON and JEANETTE, together:
I’ve heard everything they’re saying …
I know only part of it’s true —
From the moment we met, many years ago …
Part of my heart … is you!

From the moment we met, many years ago …
Part of my heart … is you!

YOU CAN TAKE THE BOY OUT OF THE COUNTRY

FARMER:

When I left my farm many years ago …
Didn’t know what I’d do – didn’t know where I’d go
Now I’ve been everywhere, and I’ve done what I can …
But my heart keeps returning — back where it all began ….

You can …
Take the boy, out of the country
But you can’t take the country, out of the boy!

No matter how — hard you may try!
From the day you leave — ’til the day you die!
With a tell-tale gleam — in your wistful eye,
The world will know — ’cause you can’t deny …

That old homestead is your pride and joy!
No, you can’t take the country, out of the boy!

COWS:  MOO MOO ……… MOO MOO!

ALL:
You can take the boy, out of the country …
But you can’t take the country, out of the boy!

No matter how — hard you may try!
From the day you leave — to the day you die!
With a tell-tale gleam — in your wistful eye,
The world will know — ’cause you can’t deny …

That old homestead, is your pride and joy!
No, you can’t take the country, out of the boy!
COWS:  MOO!  MOO! ………… MOO! ……. MOO!

IBM Farmers Federation

 

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